Have you ever had reoccurring nightmares ? I have…a long time ago, when my life was very different than it is today. I was a young and naive 21 year old with a little job at the local deli and a yearning to be loved. Against all reason, I got involved in an undesirable toxic relationship. In a sequence of events, I turned into a person I didn’t recognize!
I know most women have had that one horror relationship that eventually taught them the valuable wisdom of setting expectations high. Then later on when they are ready, they meet someone who they truly deserve and who deserves them. Now as a middle aged woman, I know confidently that I deserved much more than what I plunged into. If I could travel back in time and inform my younger self of these truths, maybe I would have saved myself the heartache. Yet, upon reflection I realize how thankful I am for this difficulty. Trying times molded me into the woman I am today. Without troubling times and heartache, all of us wouldn’t have built the strong character within us!
My nightmares were eerily strange when one detail would change every time. One night I had a nightmare that spoke a significant message, but at the time I was too clouded with confusion to acknowledge it. In the vision, I lay in a coffin deep in the earth. If this isn’t terrifying enough, I was alive! Within the tight chamber, I strived with all my might to get up, but I was stuck in a lying position. Waking in a pond of sweat, I could feel the physical exertion from the dream! I had never experienced such a haunting before! As it spooked my every being, I jotted it down anxiously in my journal.
Again, the next night, my helpless body lay paralyzed in the coffin. Every detail appeared the same as the previous night, yet this time someone was knocking on the coffin lid. I screamed, ” I gotta get up, I gotta get up.” The knocking kept repeating as I continued my chant and attempted to rise from the lying position. No matter how much I forced myself to rise, I was stiff within the closed up chamber.
I recall having the reoccurring vision a few more nights with little changes each time. One evening I was tucked tightly in bed, unable to move once again. Although my body was a statue, my eyes were alert and my hearing keen, as a continued knocking hammered on my apartment door. I kept chanting, ” I gotta get up, I gotta get up!” Another vision I lie in the same frozen state, the creepy knocking continued and my door was starting to open and suddenly I woke up!
What is peculiar but makes sense at the same time is when the relationship ended, so did the dreams! It was against my will and I desperately fought to keep it, even though inside I knew it was for the best. When pondering the details of the sequence of dreams, something clicked in me and I came to the stark realization that the dreams had significant meaning. In my first dream, my body was trying to push up, a sign to wake up. It called for me to wake up from this situation and break through the trapping state of denial. The dream of the knocking could have indicated a symbol of other opportunities or healthy relationships, such as the one I’m in now with my husband. Possibly the knocking on my apartment door meant the same but the opening door was a symbol of opening to new things. I had to get up from a paralyzing experience to open the door to true happiness.
I’m definitely not a scientist who knows all the answers regarding the study of dreams, but am aware that the sequence of dreams should’ve taught me the lessons of moving on, when it just wasn’t right or true. I didn’t listen to those visions, but I learned dreams can teach you something about your situation. If you are having dreams like these, jot them down. Try to find their meaning, because maybe a lesson can be learned. Successive similar dreams, like I’ve experienced, could be a wake up call that you may want to pay attention to. On that note, I hope with all my heart that YOU dream pleasant sweet dreams!
All my best,
Heart and Soul ❤️